Rejection is protection. Failure is a lesson. If you let it be.
Let me start by acknowledging that rejection and failure do not feel good. Those are experiences that suck and can leave a person rattled to their core. I have certainly had my fair share of those excruciating moments, so trust that what I say here is from personal experience. The goal of this blog post is not to convince you into deluded “enjoyment” or “high-vibing” about rejection and failure. Instead to encourage you into alchemizing those experiences into a stronger sense of self knowing, self worth, and self trust.
The bravery to face your thoughts and feelings when failure and rejection come knocking at your door is where it starts. Don’t just shove the experience into your shame box hidden at the back of your closet. Let yourself feel how you feel about it for a little while without trying to fix or change your feelings. Then express those feelings honestly in a safe and supportive place; tell a friend, write it down, dance about it, take it into your next therapy session, etc.
Keep doing that process when you come across failure or rejection. You’ll start to notice the sting of those things gets a bit less stingy and that you can see those things happening from a more objective mindset in which you’re not taking them so personally. Why? Well for one, you’re not poisoning yourself by keeping those feelings locked up inside of you. But also, you’ll notice a general mindset shift start happening. Failures become a learning and improvement opportunity. You’ll fall on your face like a toddler learning to walk, have a good cry about it, then try again. Eventually you’ll have practiced (i.e. tried and failed) enough that all of the sudden you find yourself running. You might still trip and fall, but holy moly, you’re running! Rejections become a place of protection and redirection. You’ll find out some information about that thing you really wanted and got rejected from that makes you go “Eww, okay, bullet dodged”. Or you might end up with something WAY BETTER that could only happen because you got rejected and now have the space for the way better thing. Eventually you’ll come to a place inside of yourself that is unshakeable regardless of the outcome of whatever it is that you may fail at or be rejected by. You’ll start to feel deep trust in your ability to transmute failure into growth and deep trust in rejection protecting you from what is not most aligned for you. You will also discover a new kind of patience and grace for yourself and others.
Failure and rejection are not personal. They don’t reflect who you are or your value as a human. They can reflect places in which you can grow and improve. They can also help you get way more clear on who you are and way more grounded in trusting yourself. They will definitely help you distill what is and is not for you which helps you find your most aligned and authentic path. That is, if you let them.
